David Stimson
David Stimson on transformation.
David Stimson is a UKCP-registered therapist who has found his calling supporting children, adolescents and adults with complex trauma. The skills he has developed over the years have also led to him to work alongside leaders and organisations, providing executive coaching to help them achieve the highest level of organisational culture and well-being. We spoke to David about his fascinating profession, how he’s impacting people’s lives, and his take on self-development and making sacrifices.
Edited by Ruby Guyler Photographs by Christopher Owens
Tell me about your career and background.
I’ve spent the last 18 years within the psychology/psychotherapy professions, specifically specialising in complex trauma with children, adolescents and adults. These individuals have often been in the care system or have been adopted, and they all have complex histories. Whilst working with schools and local authorities in Teesside, I ended up working with leadership and executive head teachers. I found this work very interesting, so I further trained and qualified as an Executive Coach via the AoEC a few years back. I now provide executive coaching to leaders and offer consulting around organisational culture. I’ve presented at a few conferences - on both a national and European level - around the impact of trauma.
Tell me about your various roles. What do you attribute to your success?
I am the co-founder, director and co-owner of two companies: Bennu Consulting and Child & Adult Therapy Solutions (CATS).
CATS is now more than 11 years’ old and initially started out as a specialist child and adolescent psychological service, though we’ve opened this up to adults in recent years too. Bennu Consulting is a newer project, which in essence takes everything we’ve learned from CATS in regards to understanding systemic psychology, psychological safety and inter-relational dynamics, and translating this into business, teams, organisational culture and leadership development. Bennu is also a strategic partner with Denison Consulting, which is great. It means we can access their unique Organisational Culture diagnostic tools to help businesses really get under the bonnet and highlight problem areas. The success of both Bennu and CATS is based on ethics, integrity, and knowing your stuff!
What do you love most about what you do every day?
I love that every client is different! I learn so much from them, whether it’s a 1:1 session or working with a whole organisation. From psychotherapy to coaching and consulting, it’s never about having all the answers - it’s about holding a safe enough space that the truth can be explored. I also love the feeling of making a difference in people’s lives. No matter how much we’ve struggled, achieved or the success we’ve had, we all have major blind-spots when it comes to our own awareness. I see it as my job to help my clients see theirs. This is transformative.
Have you had to make sacrifices in your chosen career, and have they been worth it?
I believe that anything worth doing requires some level of sacrifice. In my case, I’ve had to sacrifice friendships that were holding me back. In my line of work/self-development, we’re always evolving and this can be a challenge for those close to us. To be a psychotherapist, you have to attend therapy. Every week. For years! This is a sacrifice and a blessing at the same time. You have to sacrifice your ‘old self’ and old beliefs in order to understand who you truly are and not the embodied projection others put upon us. This is a tough and painful process, but a necessary one.
“It’s no good just being good at one thing, especially in the fast-moving creative industries. As an entrepreneur, you need to be a jack of all trades and a master of many of them too.
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What are some of your daily rituals and why are they part of your routine?
I have an almost 3-year-old daughter, so my life is pretty chaotic at times! My only consistent ritual at the moment is coffee, and lots of it! I wish I could say that I wake up at 5am, meditate and then go cold-water swimming, but it’s a fantasy for me right now. I used to meditate and practise Reiki, but now getting through the day in one piece is a win! I do actually list everything I’m grateful for and give thanks that myself and my loved ones are all safe. This has become a helpful habit to do every night just before I go to sleep.
What does work/life balance look like for you?
I think work is life and if you don’t enjoy your work, then you’re unbalanced. Life’s far too short to waste on work that you don’t get something positive from. I’m not saying every day is wonderful, but it should have meaning. Fully show up to what you do, then fully show up to those you love. By this I don’t mean burn yourself out - I mean be present.
How do you stay focused and productive in a world of distractions?
It’s hard. I’m the co-owner and director of two companies, but my personality type actually suits being accountable to someone else. I ensure that I have others who will chase me if I stray off track too far. It’s important to internalise a reason or purpose as to why we do what we do. This is a good motivator.
“No matter how much we’ve struggled, achieved or the success we’ve had, we all have
major blind-spots when it comes to our own awareness. I see it as my job to help my
clients see theirs. This is transformative.”
If you had the power to change the world, what would you change?
I’d ensure that everyone on the planet experiences attentive secure caregiving by the age of 4. People don’t realise the impact of attachment insecurity on people’s psychological development. This way, we’d have a world with more empathy and dramatically less violence, tyranny, greed, narcissism, trauma, mental health problems, envy, and reliance on various substances just to feel ok. We’d all just be a little bit kinder to ourselves and each other.
Learn More https: CATS
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